Today in open circle we talked about the D word. You might be wondering what D word I am talking about. It is a BIG one. DEFIANCE! Oliver told us it meant not doing what was asked of you. Would you believe when I asked how many of us have been defiant in our life EVERY HAND WAS UP (Mine included)! You mind as well raise your hand too!
When someone asks us to do something and we are wrapped up in our own thing it is easy to say no. However upon analyzing the situation things escalate quickly.
“Make you bed!”
“I will do it later. I am in the middle of this game, book, daydream, etc. right now!”
“I just asked you to make your bed!.”
“I will do it when I am done!!”
“You will do it NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
This vicious cycle keeps going. Now their day is bad and your day might have gotten worse. Tears might come. Someone might want to bat their head against the wall. Regardless this all could have been avoided if the child just said yes.
Students said they never thought about it that way. We talked about how parents had lives before them and will once they leave the nest (Teddy exclaimed here he was never leaving the nest!). The parent world revolves around the child and their needs, but wouldn’t it be nice for a child to just take care of themselves some time so you did not have to ask?
I hope students offer to help out around the house or are less defiant, even for a day. You can always remind them of this conversation as they grow to help! And if all else fails they loved hearing what defiance sounds like. They found it hysterical and then realized it sounded obnoxious. I think they figured out everyone is happier when the D word is taken out of the equation!